1) Working out truly does produce a few endorphins ("happy chemicals") in your body to help elevate your mood. But chocolate cake is even more effective.
2) Friends who faithfully read your blog and nickname you "my quickly dissolving friend-tablet" are the exactly perfect kind of friends to have.
3) It's strangely gratifying to have your best friend's ex-husband's brother tell you that you are eloquent on a regular basis.
4) After reading papers written by undergraduate students for several hours, you need another helping of that chocolate cake.
5) I do not appreciate students who use the word "thrice" in their papers.
6) Don't forget what another wise friend once told you: "Sometimes it's okay to not be okay for a while." There is a strange, zen-like peace to accepting your state of emotional breakdown. And then, if you accept the state of breakdown (or fizz-out), you can justify eating cake. You can even get your husband to buy you both a chocolate creme and a strawberry-vanilla flavored cake.
7) It is possible to regret eating the cake all at once, because then it is gone.
8) Cake obsessions indicate something Freudian. But if you've been reading too many undergraduate papers, you won't be able to figure out what.
9) You should not watch Persepolis when you are already emotional. You will cry. And cry and cry and cry and cry. And your husband will not know what to do with you. He has already given you cake, after all. What other recourse is left?
10) Also, if you eat too much cake, you will need that bottle of Alka-Seltzer.
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